I Never Told You
by Catarrhini
Summary: Song-fic about how Hermione is feeling after Fred's death. The song is by Colbie Caillet. PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!


**Hey everyone. I was listening to this song and I just had to write a story based on it. I chose Hermione and Fred for the pairing because it just made so much sense for them to be together. I always did think that there could have been an interesting love connection between the two. So hope you enjoy the story!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything that has come from the great mind of one J.K. Rowling.**

* * *

><p><strong>I Never Told You by Colbie Caillet<strong>

_I Miss Those Blue Eyes  
>How You Kiss Me at Night<br>I Miss the Way We Sleep_

I look at the photo from when I was just a fifth year at Hogwarts. You stare back at me with those sky blue eyes that I miss so much. That year had been so dark and dreary what with Umbridge and her Slytherin cronies roaming the school, and yet you still managed to find something to joke about and your eyes never lost that sparkle of laughter.

I remember that very first kiss we shared. It was right after our first D.A. meeting and as we were all sneaking back to our dorm rooms that night you managed to pull me aside. You gently caressed my face and stared at me as you told me how brave you thought I was for starting this group and how you've always liked me. Then you leaned down and kissed me in that dark hall. Our nights after that were spent meeting in secret to share a few precious kisses.

I remember that time where we stayed behind in the Room of Requirement and fell asleep together, wrapped up in each other's embrace. I have never felt so safe.

I miss all of those things so much.

_Like There's No Sunrise  
>Like the Taste of Your Smile<br>I Miss the Way We Breathe_

Now that you're gone it seems as though my world has been plunged into darkness, as thought the sun is no longer rising on the distant horizon, just like it felt right after you left school that year. I will admit you always knew how to make an entrance but your exits are much greater… and much more painful.

I almost couldn't continue on dealing with Umbridge after you left. I missed the taste of your lips on mine, the way you smiled… the way you made me smile. How you seemed to fill the room with your presence and joy.

But the thing I probably miss the most is how you made me feel, as though I could finally breathe. With all the pressures I placed on myself so that I could stay at the top and all of life's hardships, it just weighed me down and suffocated me. But with you around me, I felt lighter and happier, as though the weight of the world wasn't on my shoulders. Now you're gone and no longer breathing.

And I can't breathe either.

_But I Never Told You  
>What I Should Have Said<br>No, I Never Told You  
>I Just Held It In<em>

Now you're gone and I never got the chance to tell you, something that was so important. It might have changed what happened and it might not have changed anything but now we'll both never know. I should have said something to you when I had the chance that summer right before we went searching for horcruxes.

But I didn't tell you anything. I didn't tell you about her or how I felt. I just held my tongue and now…

You'll never know.

_And Now,  
>I Miss Everything About You,<br>Can't Believe That I Still Want You,  
>And After All The Things We've Been Through,<br>I Miss Everything About You,  
>Without You.<em>

Now I'm tearing myself up on the inside, remembering all those little things about you that I miss so much about you. That patch of freckles on your shoulder that looks like a flower. The way your eyes light up right before you tell a joke. Or how you would never show it but you secretly hated how everyone couldn't tell you and your brother apart.

Everyone accept me.

It's been a year since the war and I can't believe how much I still miss you. I would think that after all this time my heart would have mended just a bit and I would have started to get over you and yet I haven't. I still _want_ you. I still _need_ you.

After the hunt for the horcruxes, being on the run for nearly a year, the Battle of Hogwarts where we lost so many brave friends, after everything that we went through… I still cry every night for you because I miss you.

It's like I can't exist… without you.

_I See Your Blue Eyes,  
>Every time I Close Mine,<br>You Make It Hard To See.  
>Where I Belong To,<br>When I'm Not Around You,  
>It's Like I'm Alone With Me.<em>

Every time I fall asleep all I can see are your lifeless blue eyes staring right back at me. Those are the night's I have nightmares. On the other nights I see you alive and well laughing with your brother, playing a joke on some poor first year, or flying your broom. I don't know which are worse the nightmares or the memories.

Your absence makes it so hard for me to function. I feel like a blind person walking around muggle London. Not being able to see how to get where I need to go… where I belong.

Without you right beside me I feel so alone in this world. I could be in a room filled with your entire family and all of our friends and yet it's like I'm completely alone and separated from the rest of them.

Like it's just me.

_But I Never Told You,  
>What I Should Have Said.<br>No, I Never Told You,  
>I Just Held It In.<em>

I wish I told you the things I never got the chance to say. I should have told you about our daughter… the one I lost. I found out about her during sixth year about a month into the school term. I wanted to tell you in person so decided to wait until the first Hogsmeade weekend in October. I lost her a week after I found out when Malfoy hexed me in the hall.

I should have told you still but I just couldn't. I couldn't bear to see your face if I told you, and I didn't want you to get sent to prison for killing Malfoy. I just held it in and decided that I would tell you later perhaps after the war had finally ended and we were safe. Then we could start all over again and in time try to have a family together.

But that didn't happen. I'll never be able to tell you now.

_And Now,  
>I Miss Everything About You,<br>Can't Believe That I Still Want You,  
>And After All The Things We've Been Through,<br>I Miss Everything About You,  
>Without You.<em>

Now I'm sitting here on in my living room crying over your pictures because I still miss everything about you. The way you held me as though nothing could tear us apart. They way you would run your fingers through my hair when we made love. How you would find any reason to kiss or touch me.

I can't believe how I still want you even though I know you're never coming back. Even though I know you would be so angry with me if I even tried to follow you to wherever it is you've gone. After everything you went through to make sure I was safe, to make sure that future generations would be able to live a life free of fear. Even after all that we've done I still miss you terribly and wish I was with you wherever it is you are.

I feel so empty… without you.

_But I Never Told You,  
>What I Should Have Said.<br>No, I Never Told You,  
>I Just Held It In.<em>

I never told you how much I loved you. I should have told you right before we left the Room of Requirement, right before you left to meet your doom. I should have said something to you but I didn't. I thought it could wait until after so that it wouldn't be distracting you. So I held it in and now you'll never know.

_And Now,  
>I Miss Everything About You<br>Can't Believe That I Still Want You  
>And After All The Things We've Been Through<br>I Miss Everything About You  
>Without You.<em>

Now you're gone forever and I miss you so much. I miss your freckles, your crude sense of humor, your smile, your touch, your kiss, your love… I still can't believe I feel so much pain and yearning for you even after all this time, after all the aftermath of the war, thinking I could get over you. But I can't I miss it all too much.

I'm lost without you… and what's worse is I never got to tell you…

"I love you Fred…"

* * *

><p><strong>So there we have it. Please review and tell me what you think!<strong>


End file.
